Musings & Meanderings

The next Grief Gathering in Olympia will be March 20, 2025. Join others to sit with, be with, listen to your own grief...and the grief of others. Click here for more information: https://deathdancer.org/grief-gathering-1

What do Death Doulas actually do?

These are some of the roles or tasks:

• Provide emotional, physical, and spiritual support
• Help with end-of-life care planning
• Help with legacy projects
• Facilitate conversations about death
• Help families cope with death

When they help 

• Before, during, and after death
• Weeks or months before someone dies, and even before they're sick

How they help 

• Create space for the needs and wishes of the dying
• Help the dying live the time they have left with purpose and companionship
• Help the dying and their loved ones make the choices they want for their death experiences

This can look very different for each person or family. 

Contact me for more information or to talk:

Zoe 360-432-1236 or 

zoewaggoner@gmail.com

A woman named Zenith Virago started, long ago in Australia, Deathwalker Trainings. Similar to the role of a Death Doula, these trainings provide a supportive and safe place for people to learn about death and dying. 

Click here for more information about Zenith and her work: 

https://www.zenithvirago.com/about

Hospice workers share their insights.

What if you knew that you were at the end of your life? Would you have done anything differently? A friend of mine volunteers at a hospice, and she hears one regret over and over from patients: letting relationships wither. They wish that they had made more plans with good friends, or they thought about getting back in touch with an old buddy, and talked themselves out of it.

For the past few years, I have been trying to prioritize my friendships, but after hearing her words, I’m making a bigger effort. I send silly texts. I invite friends to dinner. I squelch that inner voice that says, “They’re probably too busy to hang out.” I do not want any regrets.

Dr. Vicki Jackson, president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine Board of Directors, said that for the same reason, she doesn’t hesitate to tell people that she loves them.

“I am not Pollyanna; I’m a big academic,” said Dr. Jackson, who has treated dying patients for a quarter century. “But I tell people I appreciate them a lot. I have a lot of deep gratitude, because I know it is dumb luck that it’s not me in that bed. And I know tomorrow it could be.”

“We’re still living with the old paradigm of age as an arch. That’s the old metaphor: You’re born, you peak at midlife and decline into decrepitude. ... A more appropriate metaphor for aging is a staircase. The upward ascension of the human spirit, bringing us into wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.”

~ Jane Fonda

I feel that so much of my time lately has been spent thinking, reminiscing about

my life. Especially when I was younger.

This picture is one of those reminders of times and places from an earlier time. Mount Baker in the Skagit Valley, a place I really love.

Good memories...sweet memories of road trips, skiing, visiting family. Just always being in awe of the beauty that surrounds us in the Pacific Northwest.

I am grateful for these memories.

I am a big fan of Mary Oliver, beloved poet. 

This line came from one of her poems...The Summer Day:

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

And so, what would you do? 

I love this poem...saying...wisdom:

"We live within borrowed time and walk in rented shoes.

If we fade, we fade, but let us go out 

having loved, laughed and forgiven."